First Night: Separation Anxiety is killing me softly!!! Date: April 1, 2017

-


No more cute pucca baby face and long legs in my bed!!!
No "kulitans" or giggles, funny faces and duets are heard in the 4 corners of my room.

If there is such thing as separation anxiety. I am feeling it right now. Last night, I wasn't able to sleep well. I slept almost 4am, my body remains active, maybe, my body clock remembers the same routine I had when I was working in  BPO or rather, I missed having her in my side. 

My whole system, actually, misses a little girl, who had been my room mate or perhaps my bed buddy for quite sometime. When, my mom still alive, this pucca baby remembers that my mom always embraces her and even sing her a song just to make her fall asleep. As years goes by, she managed to adapt it, but, I'm the one who replaced her position for giving all the affection and love to that little child. Everynight, I embraces her so tight while, singing her a song, " Tulog na ac, tulog na! tulog na ac kong mahal. Tulog na, bheibeiko ac". Its my own rendition of lullabye, instantly, she fell asleep.
As she grown to be a fine,playful and bright child, I acted like her second mom, eventhough, sometimes I lost my temper and patience, but, my love for her is everlasting and filled with sweetness especially, our bonding moments at night.

I hate the idea of being left behind. I always remember the grief and sadness when my mother passed away. And now, my pretty niece alessandria cassiel whom I treated like my own needs to transfer from another house with her mom and dad. I do understand my sister's decision. But, I just can't accept the fact that I can never see the lovely face of my little pucca baby girl. Well, that so called life, I've been single for 38 years, no child but I managed to see joy in every child I encountered in the mall, church or in the street, a simple smile brightens my day. I might never knew the reason, why I haven't had a child. But, I know theres a reason and time for everything. 

My separation anxiety is slowly creeping my system. I felt such a profound sadness. But, i know, soon, it will be over. I'll be in a normal pace mode, soon. All I need is to pray, that Ac will always be safe and people around her will truly love and care for her, more that I did. May they genuinely show kindness and affection to my  little pucca girl eventhough she's not related with their bloodline. Passive as it is. I prayed that even my sister is  stepping in another next level. May she truly act like a true mother to her child. No self-centeredness , pride and selfishness. May she truly understand her daughter's feelings and likes. May she learn to be a mother to my little baby pucca. As a reminder, the little pucca is still a child, don't forced her to much to be independent, she needs guidance, attention, time and more love. Don't passed the same rules or actions that our mom did to you. So, she won't kept any remorse in growing up like you did. 

Ask her what she really needs, respect her as she respected you, even, if you imprinted fear just to follow your commands. Guard her that no one can harm or makes her cry. If you can't be a good mother to take your responsibility. Give her to me and dad and I will take care of her, like our mother did. I don't need to hear any thank you coming from you for taking care of your child eversince, she was born because of your stubborness. All I need to hear from you, is that you will focus and devote your time to her. Stop snobbing all her needs, the ones that money can't buy. Time is passing by. She is quickly growing up. Time and unconditional love of a mother is the greatest gift you can give her. I might not be around to communicate with you or to her because, im stepping back a few yards,  but,still, ill be like a wind just listening and praying for your family. For now, I just need to wipe all my tears and be happy again, alone by myself. No need to say anything because I won't respond. Just be a mother to AC, thats all I ask from you. 


Author/Founder of Seraphimsnotes:
Natalie R. Tugade
About the Author:
Simple Spirited Lady /Filipina Lifestyle Blogger/Social Media Enthusiasts/
Physical Therapist/ Loves Photography/ Nature /Art/ CoffeLover /Unicorn /
Purple lover/ Eiffel Tower Collector /Car & Plane Enthusiasts

Kindly, follow my Social Media Accounts: FB Page:
Google+: +Seraphim Lavander
Instagram:
AKA: Natalie R. Tugade, Author of Seraphimsnotes Blog. Started her blogging career on 2015. She's a Lifestyle and Travel Blogger and a Health and Wellness Advocate from the Philippines. A food enthusiasts and a thallasophile. She inspires others to have a healthy lifestyle to attain optimal health, while enjoying the best things in life.

Comments

Post a Comment

POPULAR POST

Travel Blog: A Journey towards Regina Rica Shrine in Tanay Rizal!!!

-
Image
(Paglalakbay patungo kay Regina Rica sa Tanay Rizal) May isang tao sa mundo na makikilala mo at magiging gabay, meron ding iba na etetest ang iyong katapangan, kabaitan at ang iyong tiwala. May isang taong darating na magbibigay ng inspirasyon. Isang taong babaguhin ang iyong paniniwala tungkol sa totoong kahulugan ng buhay at pagmamahal. Ngunit, di lahat ng istorya ay hapi ending, sa huli matuto kang maging matibay na harapin ang bawat sikat ng liwayway na mag-isa at manalig sa poong maykapal. #HugotNo1NiSeraphim Sa mga post lang ng Facebook ng aking mga kaibigan nakikita ang malaking imahen ni Mama Mary. Simula't makita ko yun, dinasal o pinangarap ko ng makita ang mahal na ina. Imagine, sobrang ganda ng lugar at holy,makakapag nilay-nilay ka at makakatagpo ng katahimikan ng isip at puso. Di ko akalain, makakarating ako duon nung 2017, isang buwan bago ang aking kaarawan. Nagagalak ako at ako'y nakatagpo ng katahimikan sa pook ng Regina Rica Shrine. Tak
Read more

Lazada launches 11.11 with more than 1M deals!

-
Image
Top brands and amazing deals for your Christmas shopping!!! Share , Shop and Enjoy Lazada Items Online!!! Press Release: November 3, 2016, Taguig City, Philippines – The biggest online shopping event in Southeast Asia kicks off on November 11, 2016 with the participation of more than 12,500 local and international brands and 6,000 merchants. This month-long shopping event is Lazada’s fifth  Online Revolution  since its launch in 2012. This year’s theme is ‘Brands for All,’ putting customers’ favorite brands in the spotlight. Customers can expect jaw-dropping, well-curated offers, and exclusive launches of branded items. These deals come on top of the wide and growing assortment on Lazada. To date, Lazada boasts an unmatched catalog of close to 30 million products for consumers across six Southeast Asian countries. In the Philippines, the assortment grew 4x more than in 2015. Lazada will offer everything customers love – from huge discounts to flash sales and exclusi
Read more

Waves of My Life!!!

-
Image
Storm is swiftly passing in the shore. The currents has been disturbed with enormous wind. The huge waves is continuously sweeping the sand castle. As it slowly, break into tiny pieces and fastly dissolving. Replacing as bodies of water.  I love staring at the sunset. Watching the waves of waters rushing near the beach, as it melt down like ice. That creates a beautiful sound. Wherein, different shades of color are seen in the horizons before it closes another day. New sunrise will unfold. As I waited each morning. Whenever, I'm in the province, its like I'm livin' in a different world. I've felt so close to our creator. He makes me realized that each day brings a new beginnings. To love deeply, to learn from all your wrong decisions & mistakes, to  be grateful for each morning, to be thankful for every obstacles that makes who we are, so we can be more braver to face life. To take  deep breathe for a new journey ahead. To realized that each waves brings
Read more

Adelle Ashitaba Tea: A Powerful Tea that losses weights & fights high blood pressurel!!!

-
Image
I've found out this miracle tea during Urban Agricultural Bazaar in Market-Market Taguig. I was amazed with the distinctive taste of the tea and the benefits it brings. What attracts me most to try this products are the good effects that I've heard in regards to your well-being in terms of; it improves sleep better and losses weight. That's why, I decided to buy one and I'm still using it today. Also, Ashitaba plants had been a powerful tool to fight high blood pressure and it has anti-oxidant effect that increases immunity againsts viruses and bacteria.  A lot of people recognized the usefulness of this plant. You can easily pluck the leaves and chew it. Just washed the leaves in running water before taking a bite.  Also, I've met Adelle Ashitaba Sellers, they are so accomodating. They talked about some glimpse of history, Ms. Adelle's simple beginnings on why and how she built her company.  She wanted to help people who also suffers dreadful dse. s
Read more

Barbie Musical Instruments distributed by Jen1ne Distributor Inc.

-
Image
Photo Credits: Barbie Facebook Page Every little girl wish to have their own Barbie Doll & Play set. It's one of the famous toy since I was a child. Ofcourse, I have a few collections of Barbie Dolls and they look stunning, explicitly beautiful and fashionable. I love changing their clothes, from long gowns, swim wear to casual clothing. Every girl had encountered playing it,once in there life. But, nowadays, Barbie Products are still famous from clothing line and school supplies. And, I found out that there's one manufacturer who customized musical instruments wherein Barbie designs are created. It is Jen1ne Distributor Incorporated (est. 2009), one of the leading musical instrument distributors in the Philippines, and is responsible for establishing D&D Custom Guitars among others which, in only a few years’ time, has rose to become one the leading guitar brands in the Philippines. (http://billboard.ph/dd-custom-guitars-make-signature-axeslocal-guitar-heroes
Read more

Unveiling of Asia CEO 2016 Finalist at Marriott Hotel

-
Image
PH Biggest Business Awarding Body reveals its 2016 List of Finalists: Last Sept. 23, 2016 –Asia CEO Awards has released its list of finalists in four individual-level and 10 Organizational level business categories. The 2016 business awards competition will culminate in a gala on 18 October 2016 at the Marriott Grand Ballroom, Pasay City with the announcement of the 14 category winners. The event will also honor the Pioneer & Innovator in the Semiconductor Industry Dado Banatao and former Department of Foreign Affairs Secretary Albert F. del Rosario as Lifetime Contributors for the private and public sectors, respectively. The call for nominations early this year garnered the highest number of submissions in the event’s history. PWC scrutinized  the selection process on the list of finalists…See the category and final list below. Here is the full list of finalists by category: 1. Executive Leadership Team of the Year: Acquire BPO, Cognizant Technology,
Read more

Lola Deling's Atchara Traditions: The Newest Best Atchara in Town!!

-
Image
Learn the benefits of eating Atchara by Lola Deling's Tradition Atchara. An organic food that contains powerful anti-oxidant that boosts up your immune system. Usually, My Mama Violeta introduces me in eating atchara during my childhood days especially when were attending various occassions of weddings, fiesta and birthdays.  Oftentimes, I add a little atchara on my plate, when, there's liempo and letchon manok on the dish, its been my hobby to do so. To balance the oily taste from the sour flavor. That is why, when, Ms. Adae told us that Lola Deling's Tradition Atchara will be given as samples. I'm very excited to have one and try it. Indeed, Atchara has been my Mom's favorites additives especially when she cook fried tinapa, liempo or letchon manok. It balanced our tastebuds from oily & salty foods every meal.  With its healthy ingredients of papaya, onions, carrots and raisins, it neutralizes any fatty soluble build up on our gastro intesti
Read more

My Chill Top Bar Roofdeck Experience!!! (Seeing Quezon City in a different view)

-
Image
When life brings you a lot of heartaches and pain. And, you felt, you need to breathe-in and dissapear. Go to a different place you've never been. Chill and unwind. Visit a higher place, where you can find a relaxing view and drink some cold drinks. Listen with your favorite accoustic songs. Be lost for a minute and feel the rhythm of your heart. Enjoy and set your spirit free. Free from all the miseries, betrayal, disloyalty, dishonesty and lies that surrounds you.  Visiting this place, brings back good and sad memories. But, I'd rather write good stories rather than to dwell on my past memories. Let's say, this place let's you realized that honesty and friendship can break all the boundaries. Some can freed themselves from guilt but other's is still trying to cope with the lost of trust and loyalty from a friend. But, time heals all wounds. Days will pass, all scar will be healed. What makes me say, all those things. Your in a roof deck building.
Read more

Camaya Coasts: A Serene Paradise at the comfort of Nature. (Leisure Plus Investment Equals Happy Living)

-
Image
Having a peaceful vacation gives you a clear vision of what you really want in life. Spending time with a wondrous place makes your mind at ease. It gives you good insights in making a rightful decision on what path you'll be leading to. Nature is a friend of mine because it calms my nerves and gives me joy. Upon seeing God's majestic creations uplifts my soul with great happiness. That is why, I'm very glad that my good friend Bette Medina invited me for a tour at Camaya Coast. After, my Baler Trip last Nov.11-14, my next stop is at Camaya Coasts in Mariveles, Bataan last Nov.18. Indeed, I love seeing the blue skies above me. I love to hear the sounds of the splashes of waters that comforts my spirit. So, as we arrived at the port in One Esplanade Terminal MOA around 515AM with my honey JM. Bette told us that the registration starts at 530AM. So, we waited and catch up for a while.  Finally, we board the ferry going to Camaya around 630AM. And,
Read more

Nailaholics: Argan Products Sale Year 2 is back in the Metro!!!

-
Image
Nailaholics: Great Argan Sale Year 2 November 28 – December 12, 2017 Living in a tropical country with an unpredictable weather wherein, our weather swings from sunny and humid to cold and wet in minutes. Our skin experience a lot of greasy and dusty all throughout our travel from day to day. So, our skin really needs attention to maintain its smoothness. Of course, eating healthy (a lot of greens, water, and fiber), getting enough sleep and a lot of exercise help. Unfortunately, the sason to be merry, jolly, and bright is just around the corner, and it will prove nearly impossible to say no to all the revelry. So here’s a helpful tips for you. Argan Oil Benefits: *Rich blend of antioxidants, vitamin A and E, polyunsaturated fat, and essential fatty acid.  *Anti-inflammatory that boots up moisture for your skin and hair it lends itself to an inner glow—the hallmark of healthy skin.  Argan Oil is a very versatile product in addition to your beauty routine. 
Read more